Germanwings┃Depression ┃adding my 2 cents┃english version

Hey Internet! 

Probably everyone has heard of that terrible plane crash by now, that happened on tuesday last week. Every newspaper has written about it, every TV news has talked about it, the internet is full of it.. So I probably don´t have to tell you what exactly happened, because you either know it already, or you should better look it up on cnn news or somewhere else.

Left: The Cockpit of the Germanwings - machine. Right: Co-Pilot Andreas L. 

I really don´t want to make any aspersions. The investigations are still going and there is just so much grief and pain, that I - as an outsider and not directly affected - am not really able or allowed to form an opinion about it. 

Something that I want to talk about, though, are the articles in the newspapers from the last few days: about Andreas L., the co-pilot, suffering from depression and related assumptions that he destroyed the Germanwings plane on purpose and therefore intentionally killed 149 people. 

I understand that some would think depression made him do this, after reading the newspapers or listening to the news and learning, that Andreas L. had been suffering from depression, that he was listed as unable to fly for a period of time and that he was even put on sick leave the day of the crash. Many might even be wondering why he was allowed to fly after being diagnosed with depression.

But I really think that - and again: I don´t want to make any aspersions and I know I am not a doctor, psychologist or a behavioral Therapie - but after I had to experience myself, how it is to suffer from depression, I want to say that it was not depression what led Andreas L. to doing something like that. 

Depression is a psychological disorder that leads to the loss of the ability to feel joy or sadness/ grief. You feel empty, dull, dazed, numb. You don´t really feel anything at all. People with depression often question their purpose. They feel useless.

I can´t remember exactly how it started. I just returned from my year abroad and didn´t really know where I belonged anymore. I felt out of place everywhere. I had changed over the past year, people back here had changed over the past year. Nothing really fit anymore. Everything felt wrong. And I blamed myself for all that. I thought I had changed so much, that no one knew what to do with me anymore. That´s why I hid myself in my bedroom. I didn´t want to see anyone, because I thought I was a burden for everyone. Even for my own family. They had been living without me for 10 months and their life seemed to be going just fine. Like it didn´t matter if I was a part of that life or not. I felt useless. I felt like my life was useless. I´ve never really thought about taking my life. But I had thoughts like "No one would really care if you died. After all everyone "survived" being without you for 10 months. No one really cares about you."

People with depression feel worthless, like they are a burden for everyone. So they hole up, lie in bed the whole day. They are plagued by self - doubt and filled with self-hatred. But never with the hatred of other people. Depression makes you be extremely self-conscious. You blame yourself for everything bad that happens. But not other people. Depressive people are not dangerous. You don´t have to protect other people from them. You should better protect them from themselves. They might be suicidal. But they would never kill 149 other people when they are trying to kill themselve. 

That´s why I don´t think Andreas L. did what he did because of his depression. I think there is a lot more to it. Maybe they will find a letter in which he explains everything. But as long as there is no evidence I think it is irresponsible to claim that depression turned him into a murderer. It casts a unfavourable light on this disorder. 

In an article for the International Business Times Ed Smith writes - in my opinion - pretty accurate: 

"The idea that depression patients could simply get better, if they tried harter, if they werden´t lazy or avoidant, still exists. And now the most popular news franchise in the world is telling people that being depressd turns you into a hijacker. (...) If the Mail doesn´t actually believe depression is a dangerous willens, and is simply suggestive that it might be as part of a cynical sales play, then how much lower can that newspaper dig? No longer content with punching down at gay people, poor people, people of color, women and immigrants, the Mail is now finding excuses to attack people who are ill. For its next tricks, it´ll blame cancer for a rise in knife crime."

This is just my opinion. Maybe you want to tell me what you think in the comments below. What´s your opinion on this?
Take care,
Anika